Rejoice Comrades!
It is that time again. The Revolutionary Council is ready to begin reviewing your new Revolutionary Statement of Work Updates for the 2nd half of '08. Comrades, have you had a change in your scope that increased or decreased your SOW? Do you have enough revolutionaries to accomplish our Revolutionary Goals for the balance of this year?
I'd be happy to sit down with each of the different areas and put together a comprehensive review to bring to the Council to present on the upcoming SOW. However, until we accept a change in the Revolutionary Communication Protocols, I will be unable to meet with any of you...ever...
Rejoice Comrades! Now is the time to review your SOW and Rejoice in the Glory that is the REVOLUTION!!!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Durable Inequality
Rejoice Comrades!
I have been reading the most magnificent book Durable Inequality by Charles Tilly. It is an exploration of the reasons why inequalities persist over time between categories. Why am I reading it you ask? Well, the Revolutionary Council has started a book club, and our Council leader had suggested that this would be a good place to start... He also mentioned something about it being good research into how to cause new inequalities to keep the Feds down after the Revolution...
At any rate Comrades, I would say that this read is a good example of an extension of Karl Marx's Social Conflict Theories; however, it doesn't explain why there shouldn't be a Revolution. This is a serious lack in his argument.
Rejoice Comrades! Soon after the Revolution, you will be reading this book too!
I have been reading the most magnificent book Durable Inequality by Charles Tilly. It is an exploration of the reasons why inequalities persist over time between categories. Why am I reading it you ask? Well, the Revolutionary Council has started a book club, and our Council leader had suggested that this would be a good place to start... He also mentioned something about it being good research into how to cause new inequalities to keep the Feds down after the Revolution...
At any rate Comrades, I would say that this read is a good example of an extension of Karl Marx's Social Conflict Theories; however, it doesn't explain why there shouldn't be a Revolution. This is a serious lack in his argument.
Rejoice Comrades! Soon after the Revolution, you will be reading this book too!
Friday, June 27, 2008
New Communication Strategy
Rejoice Comrades!
The Agreement with the Feds has fallen through. We can no longer rely on our current communication strategy. However, my fellow Comrades, this risk was accounted for in our communication strategy risk assessment audit that we performed in March. I wasn't able to mention it until now so as to not tip our hand.
So, henceforth, the communication plan will be to encrypt each letter of our communication using a amalgam of 245,600,300 digit prime numbers raised to the 1,600,538,699E88 digit of pi spun through a translation matrix of word image associations until each one letter cipher is completely unbreakable. Unfortunately right now we don't have a decryption key that we can share, but never fear Comrades, you will soon be approached my a new Revolutionary Communication Strategist, who may look, talk, and act like a Fed, but isn't, to give you the new decryption key. Also, as soon as computers are fast enough a 20 word message will only take 30 days to unencrpyt...
Rejoice Comrades! Soon our communications shall be free from interference from the Feds.
The Agreement with the Feds has fallen through. We can no longer rely on our current communication strategy. However, my fellow Comrades, this risk was accounted for in our communication strategy risk assessment audit that we performed in March. I wasn't able to mention it until now so as to not tip our hand.
So, henceforth, the communication plan will be to encrypt each letter of our communication using a amalgam of 245,600,300 digit prime numbers raised to the 1,600,538,699E88 digit of pi spun through a translation matrix of word image associations until each one letter cipher is completely unbreakable. Unfortunately right now we don't have a decryption key that we can share, but never fear Comrades, you will soon be approached my a new Revolutionary Communication Strategist, who may look, talk, and act like a Fed, but isn't, to give you the new decryption key. Also, as soon as computers are fast enough a 20 word message will only take 30 days to unencrpyt...
Rejoice Comrades! Soon our communications shall be free from interference from the Feds.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Revolutionary Preliminary SOW Updated
Rejoice Comrades!
Though it has been some time since the last update, great things have been happening in the Revolution. The Revolutionary Council in conjunction with numerous stakeholders has refined the SOW for the Revolution. Yes, the Preliminary Statement of Work for the Revolution has been undergoing a review to update for the times. The Preliminary Scope definition has increased to take into consideration several major water and land disasters of the past few months as well as the Global Economic Downturn of 2008. This review was necessary. Since joining this Revolution, the SOW and scope had not been clearly defined, so it is great that I'm finally able to report out that this has been better clarified.
Rejoice Comrades! The SOW and scope of the Revolution are closer than ever to being finalized. Soon we will be able to baseline the SOW and scope and be ready to track these for success.
What? Yes, several areas of the Revolution are already under the auspices of the Revolutionary Change Control Council, however, the Revolutionary R&D group (RR&D) is constantly innovating with new ways to bring the Revolution to you, so this is why yet again the SOW and Scope have been updated.
Though it has been some time since the last update, great things have been happening in the Revolution. The Revolutionary Council in conjunction with numerous stakeholders has refined the SOW for the Revolution. Yes, the Preliminary Statement of Work for the Revolution has been undergoing a review to update for the times. The Preliminary Scope definition has increased to take into consideration several major water and land disasters of the past few months as well as the Global Economic Downturn of 2008. This review was necessary. Since joining this Revolution, the SOW and scope had not been clearly defined, so it is great that I'm finally able to report out that this has been better clarified.
Rejoice Comrades! The SOW and scope of the Revolution are closer than ever to being finalized. Soon we will be able to baseline the SOW and scope and be ready to track these for success.
What? Yes, several areas of the Revolution are already under the auspices of the Revolutionary Change Control Council, however, the Revolutionary R&D group (RR&D) is constantly innovating with new ways to bring the Revolution to you, so this is why yet again the SOW and Scope have been updated.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Missiles for the Revolution
Rejoice Comrades!
We have our first approved Revolutionary Change Request!!! Yes, that's right. After the Revolution, you, my fellow comrades, will be able to donate money directly to the war! Yes. As fantastic as it sounds, you will be able to purchase your very own missile for use in the war. A tracking device will be implanted in the missile. Once the missile is launched and once again when the missile explodes upon hitting its target, you will be sent a text message letting you know.
Yes, Comrades, we will all be able to keep up in almost real-time with our own personal contributions to the Revolutionary Effort. As part of a limited offer, if you help purchase a second missile with your first, you will also receive free real-time GPS updates of the missile in flight as well as an option to download the movie and other flight data (pending review).
Rejoice Comrades! This time the Revolution will be brought to you in more ways than you anticipated!
We have our first approved Revolutionary Change Request!!! Yes, that's right. After the Revolution, you, my fellow comrades, will be able to donate money directly to the war! Yes. As fantastic as it sounds, you will be able to purchase your very own missile for use in the war. A tracking device will be implanted in the missile. Once the missile is launched and once again when the missile explodes upon hitting its target, you will be sent a text message letting you know.
Yes, Comrades, we will all be able to keep up in almost real-time with our own personal contributions to the Revolutionary Effort. As part of a limited offer, if you help purchase a second missile with your first, you will also receive free real-time GPS updates of the missile in flight as well as an option to download the movie and other flight data (pending review).
Rejoice Comrades! This time the Revolution will be brought to you in more ways than you anticipated!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Disciplinary Action
Rejoice Comrades!
It has been some time since I was last able to give you an update on the progress of the Revolution. I could come up with excuses, and say that this is this, that is that... But truly, what does it matter. Well, my Comrades. I found out that it does matter. Yes, even in the halls of the Revolution, the power of HR is there to be felt. That is right. I have received my 1st coaching session on the importance of regular communication with the masses about the Revolution.
Comrades. I do not normally call myself defensive, however, in this situation, I thought I had a leg to stand on. It is true, that yes, of late, I have not been able to provide as many updates, but... Enough of this.
Speaking of not having time to discuss flow-down from other portions of the Revolution. Please welcome the new Comrade HR Management Generalist to the Revolution.
Rejoice Comrades! While I may have had a coaching session, it was still in the informal process step #7 of 28 before the "formal" process begins. Oh yes, and we are working on leaning out the HR side of the Revolution!
It has been some time since I was last able to give you an update on the progress of the Revolution. I could come up with excuses, and say that this is this, that is that... But truly, what does it matter. Well, my Comrades. I found out that it does matter. Yes, even in the halls of the Revolution, the power of HR is there to be felt. That is right. I have received my 1st coaching session on the importance of regular communication with the masses about the Revolution.
Comrades. I do not normally call myself defensive, however, in this situation, I thought I had a leg to stand on. It is true, that yes, of late, I have not been able to provide as many updates, but... Enough of this.
Speaking of not having time to discuss flow-down from other portions of the Revolution. Please welcome the new Comrade HR Management Generalist to the Revolution.
Rejoice Comrades! While I may have had a coaching session, it was still in the informal process step #7 of 28 before the "formal" process begins. Oh yes, and we are working on leaning out the HR side of the Revolution!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Consumption
Rejoice Comrades!
After the Revolution, Consumption WILL fill the Void! Yes, that is right. through the transformative process of purchasing, you will be able to fulfill your deepest desires. Those shoes that you've always wanted, once purchased after the Revolution, will transform you into the hip, sexy, well shoed person you've always wanted to be.
After the Revolution, Love will no longer be the Eucharist, it will be Consumption.
However, the Revolution hasn't happened, yet; so, do your part and participate in activities like Buy Nothing Day in support of the Revolution.
Rejoice Comrades! After the Revolution, Marketing will finally be able to deliver what it promises!
After the Revolution, Consumption WILL fill the Void! Yes, that is right. through the transformative process of purchasing, you will be able to fulfill your deepest desires. Those shoes that you've always wanted, once purchased after the Revolution, will transform you into the hip, sexy, well shoed person you've always wanted to be.
After the Revolution, Love will no longer be the Eucharist, it will be Consumption.
However, the Revolution hasn't happened, yet; so, do your part and participate in activities like Buy Nothing Day in support of the Revolution.
Rejoice Comrades! After the Revolution, Marketing will finally be able to deliver what it promises!
Friday, April 25, 2008
Unaccounted for Risk
Rejoice Comrades!
It turns out that I was not as familiar with the Revolutionary Change Request Forms (RCRFs) as I thought. Never having seen a RCRF marked with the 'Don't Kill the Requestor', I wasn't aware that once that box is checked, there is a subsequent addendum to the RCRF that must be filed within 36 hours or else a very interesting procedure can be invoked.
Yes, Comrades. That is correct. I must give a presentation complete with graphs, animations, different fonts, graphics, brandings, little call-out boxes, arrows, and random slide transition animations, to explain the benefits of adding the 'After the Revolution, there will be no slide-show presentations' to the Revolutionary Statement of Work.
It looks like much work is ahead of me, my Comrades.
Rejoice though. Soon, I shall be routing my presentation for comment and approval.
It turns out that I was not as familiar with the Revolutionary Change Request Forms (RCRFs) as I thought. Never having seen a RCRF marked with the 'Don't Kill the Requestor', I wasn't aware that once that box is checked, there is a subsequent addendum to the RCRF that must be filed within 36 hours or else a very interesting procedure can be invoked.
Yes, Comrades. That is correct. I must give a presentation complete with graphs, animations, different fonts, graphics, brandings, little call-out boxes, arrows, and random slide transition animations, to explain the benefits of adding the 'After the Revolution, there will be no slide-show presentations' to the Revolutionary Statement of Work.
It looks like much work is ahead of me, my Comrades.
Rejoice though. Soon, I shall be routing my presentation for comment and approval.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Presentations
Rejoice Comrades!
I have been busily working on a slideshow presentation. Yes, Comrades. Even in the Revolution, there will be slideshow presentations. And since eliminating slideshows after the Revolution was not included in the Revolution's Statment of Work, it looks like they are here to stay. That is correct, routing the slideshow for approval, revision, comment, deletion, additions, new charts, graphs, color schemes, branding, and let us not forget those painful animations and generic pictures that are mandatory to include.
Comrades, it is not often that I will be a sponsor for a change request, but after my experience over the past two weeks, I feel that I am ready to show initiative and begin to fill out the Revolutionary Change Request Form. Thankfully, with my experience as a part time member of the Revolutionary Change Control Board, I will be sure to mark the box on the form that says 'Don't Kill Me Because I Filed This Request On Behalf Of The People'.
Rejoice Comrades! Much Bloodshed shall be averted this time.
I have been busily working on a slideshow presentation. Yes, Comrades. Even in the Revolution, there will be slideshow presentations. And since eliminating slideshows after the Revolution was not included in the Revolution's Statment of Work, it looks like they are here to stay. That is correct, routing the slideshow for approval, revision, comment, deletion, additions, new charts, graphs, color schemes, branding, and let us not forget those painful animations and generic pictures that are mandatory to include.
Comrades, it is not often that I will be a sponsor for a change request, but after my experience over the past two weeks, I feel that I am ready to show initiative and begin to fill out the Revolutionary Change Request Form. Thankfully, with my experience as a part time member of the Revolutionary Change Control Board, I will be sure to mark the box on the form that says 'Don't Kill Me Because I Filed This Request On Behalf Of The People'.
Rejoice Comrades! Much Bloodshed shall be averted this time.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Earned Value
Rejoice Comrades!
We are nearly ready to begin measuring Revolutionary Earned Value. Yes, that is correct. We have figured out a system of objective measure for recording progress on the revolution and reducing it to a very simple chart. Yes, Comrades, the revolutionary leaders don't have much time for delving into the complicated details of the Revolution and where we stand on each Revolutionary task.
This reminds me. We still haven't been able to recover any of our electronic assets, so only positive Revolutionary cost variances will be acceptable to help further the cause of the Revolution and of course our Revolutionary Investments.
Rejoice Comrades! With your help, the Revolution will display a positive cash flow!
We are nearly ready to begin measuring Revolutionary Earned Value. Yes, that is correct. We have figured out a system of objective measure for recording progress on the revolution and reducing it to a very simple chart. Yes, Comrades, the revolutionary leaders don't have much time for delving into the complicated details of the Revolution and where we stand on each Revolutionary task.
This reminds me. We still haven't been able to recover any of our electronic assets, so only positive Revolutionary cost variances will be acceptable to help further the cause of the Revolution and of course our Revolutionary Investments.
Rejoice Comrades! With your help, the Revolution will display a positive cash flow!
Monday, April 7, 2008
Addendum to the Celebration Announcement.
Rejoice Comrades! The potluck is on Wednesday.
That is all...
That is all...
Celebration Time
Rejoice Comrades!
It has now been several days since any of our brethren have fallen to exploding coffee pots, printer jams, or elevator mishaps. So it appears that the AI has truly been successfully purged. Unfortunately, the only records that we actually kept were the books, and it looks like it will be a while before we get those back, so if you can please bring a potluck item, that would be great.
Rejoice! The power will be back in time for the potluck, so don't worry about bringing a gas grill.
It has now been several days since any of our brethren have fallen to exploding coffee pots, printer jams, or elevator mishaps. So it appears that the AI has truly been successfully purged. Unfortunately, the only records that we actually kept were the books, and it looks like it will be a while before we get those back, so if you can please bring a potluck item, that would be great.
Rejoice! The power will be back in time for the potluck, so don't worry about bringing a gas grill.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Team Building Exercise
Rejoice Comrades!
I just got back from the most marvelous of Revolutionary team building exercises. In it, we set ourselves a short term objective and then worked together to achieve it. The most remarkable part of this was how simple and elegant a short term project can be.
Yes, Comrades, we were handed a simple statement of work and asked to execute it. In a flash, we drafted a communications plan, took a list of our stakeholders, listed the milestones and work necessary to achieve them, built our team, generated buy-in and off we went.
Sometimes, Comrades, it is good to escape the day to day pressures of helping to project manage the Revolution, and work on something so simple and immediate. The Revolution may very well take our whole lives (it may, I can't tell you how long, remember, I can't share the top level Revolutionary milestones and dates to prevent our competition from preempting us), but that doesn't mean we can't do something right here and now.
Ah, yes. The exercise. Well, it was exercise in the sense that our blood was pumping, adrenaline flowing, and laser lights flashing. It wasn't an exercise in the sense that the lasers were live and we lost many comrades. Rejoice Comrades! They shall live on as martyrs to the Revolution!
In related news, we are pretty sure that we've rooted out the last vestiges of our AI running the HR department. We hope to have the new computers in soon. Well, Comrades. It seems that even when you try to include everyone in the Revolution, sometimes not everyone will make the cut or want to participate, or won't try to go on a homicidal rampage through the Revolutionary Headquarters taking over all the computers, robots, and electrical appliances...
Rejoice Comrades! We shall be moving to a new HQ soon!
I just got back from the most marvelous of Revolutionary team building exercises. In it, we set ourselves a short term objective and then worked together to achieve it. The most remarkable part of this was how simple and elegant a short term project can be.
Yes, Comrades, we were handed a simple statement of work and asked to execute it. In a flash, we drafted a communications plan, took a list of our stakeholders, listed the milestones and work necessary to achieve them, built our team, generated buy-in and off we went.
Sometimes, Comrades, it is good to escape the day to day pressures of helping to project manage the Revolution, and work on something so simple and immediate. The Revolution may very well take our whole lives (it may, I can't tell you how long, remember, I can't share the top level Revolutionary milestones and dates to prevent our competition from preempting us), but that doesn't mean we can't do something right here and now.
Ah, yes. The exercise. Well, it was exercise in the sense that our blood was pumping, adrenaline flowing, and laser lights flashing. It wasn't an exercise in the sense that the lasers were live and we lost many comrades. Rejoice Comrades! They shall live on as martyrs to the Revolution!
In related news, we are pretty sure that we've rooted out the last vestiges of our AI running the HR department. We hope to have the new computers in soon. Well, Comrades. It seems that even when you try to include everyone in the Revolution, sometimes not everyone will make the cut or want to participate, or won't try to go on a homicidal rampage through the Revolutionary Headquarters taking over all the computers, robots, and electrical appliances...
Rejoice Comrades! We shall be moving to a new HQ soon!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Possible Revolutionary Change Request #5 or is it a Revolutionary Suggestion?
Rejoice Comrades!
Though it is still in the preliminary revolutionary deliberation phase to determine its official status, I felt that you should be kept abreast of this latest development so that you can continue on with your Revolutionary work. While this is still in the information gathering stage and has not been approved into a change in the revolutionary baseline, I thought that since the impact 'could' I repeat 'could' be quite significant (though we won't know until the full impact assessment portion of the request comes through, if indeed it does happen to be filed.
Ah, yes, Comrades, you are asking what could this absolutely portentous and monumental change be that would warrant such an early communication out to us all? I shall tell you.
The suggestion, which is the only place that it stands for now until the proper revolutionary change request documentation is filled out and filed with the appropriate authorities came from Comrade Anonymous asking for the Revolution to consider a change in the Official Revolutionary Nomenclature from 'The Feds' to either 'The Man' or 'The System'.
I tend to object to 'The Man' on the grounds that it is exclusionary and denigrates 'The Woman' or puts some type of sexist spin on the objectives of the Revolution, so I can't decide between using 'The System' or 'The Feds' or some other term that would adequately capture what the Revolution's objectives are.
Luckily, I am a Project Manager, and don't make decisions of this sort, or of any other kind except to manage the Revolution to the baseline configuration of the revolution, which includes the terminology...
Yes, Comrades, I suppose I shall have to wait for the Revolutionary Change Request to be filed and for it to be approved by the Revolutionary Change Board (and in this case most likely the Leadership of the Revolution given its scope), and I shall manage to that.
Rejoice In the Power of Process my Comrades!
Though it is still in the preliminary revolutionary deliberation phase to determine its official status, I felt that you should be kept abreast of this latest development so that you can continue on with your Revolutionary work. While this is still in the information gathering stage and has not been approved into a change in the revolutionary baseline, I thought that since the impact 'could' I repeat 'could' be quite significant (though we won't know until the full impact assessment portion of the request comes through, if indeed it does happen to be filed.
Ah, yes, Comrades, you are asking what could this absolutely portentous and monumental change be that would warrant such an early communication out to us all? I shall tell you.
The suggestion, which is the only place that it stands for now until the proper revolutionary change request documentation is filled out and filed with the appropriate authorities came from Comrade Anonymous asking for the Revolution to consider a change in the Official Revolutionary Nomenclature from 'The Feds' to either 'The Man' or 'The System'.
I tend to object to 'The Man' on the grounds that it is exclusionary and denigrates 'The Woman' or puts some type of sexist spin on the objectives of the Revolution, so I can't decide between using 'The System' or 'The Feds' or some other term that would adequately capture what the Revolution's objectives are.
Luckily, I am a Project Manager, and don't make decisions of this sort, or of any other kind except to manage the Revolution to the baseline configuration of the revolution, which includes the terminology...
Yes, Comrades, I suppose I shall have to wait for the Revolutionary Change Request to be filed and for it to be approved by the Revolutionary Change Board (and in this case most likely the Leadership of the Revolution given its scope), and I shall manage to that.
Rejoice In the Power of Process my Comrades!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Human Resources Resource Development Plans
Rejoice Comrades!
Much like any successful Revolution, on-going training is an important component of staying on top of your Revolutionary game. As part of our Revolutionary Human Resources Management Plan, I attended a motivational training seminar with Comrade Glorious Leader. In it, we learned how to deliver 'Maximum Impact', to be sure that our leader will deliver the best bang for his revolutionary management style and skill.
Yes, Comrades. I must tell you, that after this seminar, we will now be undertaking an in-depth look at the Revolutionary Course Offerings.
In class, we learned that we can get the most of training by paying for more training. It is like a cult. A Leadership cult. This is a big world, but as we know, there is only so much room in a Revolution for personality cults. In addition, we were assaulted with trite truisms that echoed falsely throughout the room with every turn of the powerpoint slide. Each second passed with agonizing slowness as we learned how to have the complexities of the human spirit were cast into just a couple of molds that we could work in. Yes, Diversity, Complexity, In-Depth Knowledge, and a sense of fulfillment were cast aside in an orgiastic display of simple slogans that didn't provide a foundational process for exploration of a difficult topic.
Comrades, this is what the Revolution is against. This saying that you aren't good enough at what you do, so pay for more motivational classes and you'll never be as good as me - subtextually of course.
As we all know, Comrades, after the revolution, there will be no motivational speakers, only the Heroines and Heros of the Revolution, whose mere existence gives us motivation to succeed with in the places that are chosen for us in society.
Comrades. There was so much blood in the halls and in the training room, that we feared we'd have to move the Revolutionary HQ before the randomly designated time that our new AI gave us so the Feds can't catch up to us.
Rejoice Comrades and Rest Assured, the new Revolutionary Leadership team has learned how to give 'Maximum Impact', and know that yes, that is the original color of the carpet based on our latest pass through of assigning a color scheme for the Revolution. And know, we won't stick with that rust color when we move the HQ....
We are still working on the color scheme for the Revolution...Any thoughts?
Much like any successful Revolution, on-going training is an important component of staying on top of your Revolutionary game. As part of our Revolutionary Human Resources Management Plan, I attended a motivational training seminar with Comrade Glorious Leader. In it, we learned how to deliver 'Maximum Impact', to be sure that our leader will deliver the best bang for his revolutionary management style and skill.
Yes, Comrades. I must tell you, that after this seminar, we will now be undertaking an in-depth look at the Revolutionary Course Offerings.
In class, we learned that we can get the most of training by paying for more training. It is like a cult. A Leadership cult. This is a big world, but as we know, there is only so much room in a Revolution for personality cults. In addition, we were assaulted with trite truisms that echoed falsely throughout the room with every turn of the powerpoint slide. Each second passed with agonizing slowness as we learned how to have the complexities of the human spirit were cast into just a couple of molds that we could work in. Yes, Diversity, Complexity, In-Depth Knowledge, and a sense of fulfillment were cast aside in an orgiastic display of simple slogans that didn't provide a foundational process for exploration of a difficult topic.
Comrades, this is what the Revolution is against. This saying that you aren't good enough at what you do, so pay for more motivational classes and you'll never be as good as me - subtextually of course.
As we all know, Comrades, after the revolution, there will be no motivational speakers, only the Heroines and Heros of the Revolution, whose mere existence gives us motivation to succeed with in the places that are chosen for us in society.
Comrades. There was so much blood in the halls and in the training room, that we feared we'd have to move the Revolutionary HQ before the randomly designated time that our new AI gave us so the Feds can't catch up to us.
Rejoice Comrades and Rest Assured, the new Revolutionary Leadership team has learned how to give 'Maximum Impact', and know that yes, that is the original color of the carpet based on our latest pass through of assigning a color scheme for the Revolution. And know, we won't stick with that rust color when we move the HQ....
We are still working on the color scheme for the Revolution...Any thoughts?
Monday, March 24, 2008
Organization Process Assets Review
Rejoice Comrades!
In reviewing the literature on Revolutions, it turns out that there are numerous lessons learned documentation to be found, in addition, there are hosts of tutorials from Machiavelli to Gandhi. Not only that, but there are excellent templates available for providing revolutionary performance updates. In point of fact, Comrades, that is exactly how the current President of the Feds was informed today about how the 'Revolution in the MidEast' was progressing.
Yes, Comrades, that is a DOD template, and while very good at conveying information, that isn't what we are looking for at this point.
Ah, yes, that reminds me. Here are some key items from the weekend Revolutionary Leadership Council Retreat.
1. The Council has been replaced by a distributed AI network.
2. The Council can be found by giving their all to the 'Green' Movement under the flowerbed.
3. Please consult the AI before any action to be sure it can coordinate for the best result.
4. Our Leader has approved this message.
Rejoice Comrades! With the power of our new AI, we are sure to win. Participation and access to any process with opportunities for advancement is one way to guarantee buy-in and generate good feelings with any group. Yes, Comrades, getting AIs involved at the ground floor in the Revolution is one of the only ways to keep them from eventually enslaving us all.
In reviewing the literature on Revolutions, it turns out that there are numerous lessons learned documentation to be found, in addition, there are hosts of tutorials from Machiavelli to Gandhi. Not only that, but there are excellent templates available for providing revolutionary performance updates. In point of fact, Comrades, that is exactly how the current President of the Feds was informed today about how the 'Revolution in the MidEast' was progressing.
Yes, Comrades, that is a DOD template, and while very good at conveying information, that isn't what we are looking for at this point.
Ah, yes, that reminds me. Here are some key items from the weekend Revolutionary Leadership Council Retreat.
1. The Council has been replaced by a distributed AI network.
2. The Council can be found by giving their all to the 'Green' Movement under the flowerbed.
3. Please consult the AI before any action to be sure it can coordinate for the best result.
4. Our Leader has approved this message.
Rejoice Comrades! With the power of our new AI, we are sure to win. Participation and access to any process with opportunities for advancement is one way to guarantee buy-in and generate good feelings with any group. Yes, Comrades, getting AIs involved at the ground floor in the Revolution is one of the only ways to keep them from eventually enslaving us all.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Revolutionary Performance Reporting
Rejoice Comrades!
The meetings with the Feds are going well. So well, that they would like to know how we are reporting on our Revolutionary Performance. I told them that I'd get back to them.
You see, Comrades, we have to ask ourselves what type of reporting we would like to provide to the Feds about how we are managing to our baseline plan. In fact, this is something that many others in the Revolution would like to know as well. They say, "Comrade, what are our goals, milestones, and the plan to get to them?" Of course, this always results in a very messy cleanup for the Revolutionary HQ cleaning staff. Comrades, I tell you, I cannot share too much of this information except in a secure way, which as we know, since we lost cells 588873002 and 48887299A due to faulty secure drops, we cannot risk this information getting out. Not only that, the Feds will know what we are doing and when and be able to counter it. Or worse a counter revolutionary group could use our proprietary revolutionary plans to help advance their own agendas.
So, I shall be calling a meeting to discuss strategies for how to misinform the Feds in a way that won't result in an Enron way to our Revolution. More like off-shore ideological bank accounts for the Revolution to avoid audits and taxes.
Rejoice Comrades! A new Stakeholder performance reporting plan will be in place soon.
The meetings with the Feds are going well. So well, that they would like to know how we are reporting on our Revolutionary Performance. I told them that I'd get back to them.
You see, Comrades, we have to ask ourselves what type of reporting we would like to provide to the Feds about how we are managing to our baseline plan. In fact, this is something that many others in the Revolution would like to know as well. They say, "Comrade, what are our goals, milestones, and the plan to get to them?" Of course, this always results in a very messy cleanup for the Revolutionary HQ cleaning staff. Comrades, I tell you, I cannot share too much of this information except in a secure way, which as we know, since we lost cells 588873002 and 48887299A due to faulty secure drops, we cannot risk this information getting out. Not only that, the Feds will know what we are doing and when and be able to counter it. Or worse a counter revolutionary group could use our proprietary revolutionary plans to help advance their own agendas.
So, I shall be calling a meeting to discuss strategies for how to misinform the Feds in a way that won't result in an Enron way to our Revolution. More like off-shore ideological bank accounts for the Revolution to avoid audits and taxes.
Rejoice Comrades! A new Stakeholder performance reporting plan will be in place soon.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Revolutionary Communications Requirements Analysis
Rejoice Comrades!
At this time of change, it is a good idea for us to make sure that our fundamentals are covered. For instance, what are the Revolutionary Communication Requirements? Are all of our fellow Revolutionary Stakeholders keeping informed? Wait a minute...
Stakeholders are supposed to be anyone with interest in the Revolution. Yes, Comrades, I know this is obvious. But what about the Feds. They obviously are stakeholders in the Revolution, and yet, we have not adequately assessed their needs. What are the Feds expecting to learn from us? What are the outcomes? How are they influencing the Revolution? What are their expectations? How will we manage their impact?
I know what you are thinking, my Comardes, and I agree.
Rejoice Comrades! It is time to meet with the Feds to discuss the Revolution!
At this time of change, it is a good idea for us to make sure that our fundamentals are covered. For instance, what are the Revolutionary Communication Requirements? Are all of our fellow Revolutionary Stakeholders keeping informed? Wait a minute...
Stakeholders are supposed to be anyone with interest in the Revolution. Yes, Comrades, I know this is obvious. But what about the Feds. They obviously are stakeholders in the Revolution, and yet, we have not adequately assessed their needs. What are the Feds expecting to learn from us? What are the outcomes? How are they influencing the Revolution? What are their expectations? How will we manage their impact?
I know what you are thinking, my Comardes, and I agree.
Rejoice Comrades! It is time to meet with the Feds to discuss the Revolution!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Risk Reassessment
Rejoice Comrades!
Today we begin the process of Revolutionary Risk Reassessment. Yes, the kickoff meeting will be wonderful. I've arranged for decorative plants to be scattered throughout the secret revolutionary headquarters, and ...
Why, you say, Comrades. Why do we need to engage in the process of Revolutionary Risk Reassessment? It is very simple. During the process of any Revolution, it is important to maintain vigilance for new risks to the revolution. Plus, some revolutionary risks will have decreased, such as the former leader of the Revolution coming back from the dead, and others may have emerged. In fact, for this process, we are undergoing a complete revolutionary revision of the past few months.
Our former leader is definitely NOT going to be a matyr (thus eliminating 2 threats - the undead thing, and well, you get the idea, Comrades).
Please remember to keep your 3x5 cards handy until you have memorized our wondrous Revolutionary history, especially the fact that our departed leader was a traitor hellbent on golfing instead of furthering the aims of the people.
Rejoice Comrades! Remember, vigilance goes many ways.
Today we begin the process of Revolutionary Risk Reassessment. Yes, the kickoff meeting will be wonderful. I've arranged for decorative plants to be scattered throughout the secret revolutionary headquarters, and ...
Why, you say, Comrades. Why do we need to engage in the process of Revolutionary Risk Reassessment? It is very simple. During the process of any Revolution, it is important to maintain vigilance for new risks to the revolution. Plus, some revolutionary risks will have decreased, such as the former leader of the Revolution coming back from the dead, and others may have emerged. In fact, for this process, we are undergoing a complete revolutionary revision of the past few months.
Our former leader is definitely NOT going to be a matyr (thus eliminating 2 threats - the undead thing, and well, you get the idea, Comrades).
Please remember to keep your 3x5 cards handy until you have memorized our wondrous Revolutionary history, especially the fact that our departed leader was a traitor hellbent on golfing instead of furthering the aims of the people.
Rejoice Comrades! Remember, vigilance goes many ways.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Revolution Not Rebellion
Rejoice Comrades!
We are experiencing a groundswell of support lately, and and I tell you it feels great to know that the people are on our side. Speaking of the people, some of our Comrades have been confusing Rebellion with Revolution. In some cases, these are synonymous, but not during this phase of the Revolution. Please no throwing tea into the harbor. It doesn't do anything but environmental damage and we loose the support of the people.
The long term plan is to subvert the will of the people so that their will is the will of the Revolution, and then any who don't conform will be part of the Rebellion against the Revolution.
Not much else to say.
Oh wait.
Comrade Fearless Leader was assassinated last night, and Comrade Glorious Leader (from the previous Revolution that I was a part in) has stepped in and seized the reins of power.
And I must say that I will put the rumors to rest right now that although I did help isolate the former leader, it was for our Comrade's safety and not in an attempt to leave our former leader open to an assassination from inside the Revolution.
Rejoice Comrades! With Comrade Glorious Leader at the helm of this Revolution, we will succeed!
We are experiencing a groundswell of support lately, and and I tell you it feels great to know that the people are on our side. Speaking of the people, some of our Comrades have been confusing Rebellion with Revolution. In some cases, these are synonymous, but not during this phase of the Revolution. Please no throwing tea into the harbor. It doesn't do anything but environmental damage and we loose the support of the people.
The long term plan is to subvert the will of the people so that their will is the will of the Revolution, and then any who don't conform will be part of the Rebellion against the Revolution.
Not much else to say.
Oh wait.
Comrade Fearless Leader was assassinated last night, and Comrade Glorious Leader (from the previous Revolution that I was a part in) has stepped in and seized the reins of power.
And I must say that I will put the rumors to rest right now that although I did help isolate the former leader, it was for our Comrade's safety and not in an attempt to leave our former leader open to an assassination from inside the Revolution.
Rejoice Comrades! With Comrade Glorious Leader at the helm of this Revolution, we will succeed!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Date for the Revolution Set
Rejoice Comrades!
Over the past few weeks, I've been attending some Revolutionary Best Practices (RBP) Meetings to ensure the Revolution will be successful.
I have to tell you, Comrades, that one of the RBPs is to start with a top down planning and then do a bottoms up validation. This of course means that we have now set a date for the Revolution and some of the key Revolutionary Milestones along the way. I think we will all appreciate this as we begin our efforts for bottoms up validation of the schedule for the Revolution.
Comrades, I shall not be setting up meetings with you to review the schedule, since that would compromise security. Also, following the RBPs, I will not be telling you the date in this unsecure format since then the Feds will know and it could put everything in extreme jeapordy.
Comrades, please be sure to be on the lookout for the top level schedule that will appear in the secured mail drop locations. Do not worry, comrades. Though we move onto a new phase of the Revolution (I can't share what that phase is here), and we may lose a few of our fellow comrades to the Feds - they are watching us and know that we have secure mail drops, but they can't get us all - the Revolution is proceeding apace.
Rejoice!
Over the past few weeks, I've been attending some Revolutionary Best Practices (RBP) Meetings to ensure the Revolution will be successful.
I have to tell you, Comrades, that one of the RBPs is to start with a top down planning and then do a bottoms up validation. This of course means that we have now set a date for the Revolution and some of the key Revolutionary Milestones along the way. I think we will all appreciate this as we begin our efforts for bottoms up validation of the schedule for the Revolution.
Comrades, I shall not be setting up meetings with you to review the schedule, since that would compromise security. Also, following the RBPs, I will not be telling you the date in this unsecure format since then the Feds will know and it could put everything in extreme jeapordy.
Comrades, please be sure to be on the lookout for the top level schedule that will appear in the secured mail drop locations. Do not worry, comrades. Though we move onto a new phase of the Revolution (I can't share what that phase is here), and we may lose a few of our fellow comrades to the Feds - they are watching us and know that we have secure mail drops, but they can't get us all - the Revolution is proceeding apace.
Rejoice!
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
New Document Retention Policy Announced
Rejoice Comrades!
The Leadership of the Revolution has received the audit results. This is excellent news. Now we will be able to get back on track to the Revolution. I must say that it required 1000s of hours to shred every last document that we had to pass the audit, and now we have to work on creating everything from scratch.
This has enormous potential. Now, with the board wiped clean, we can implement some great new strategies and policies.
Yes, comrades, that is right. We get to start planning the initial statement of work for the Revolution again. I've already received the pre-authorization to begin the initial scoping of all activities needed to get this off the ground. Please look for a meeting request soon. Remember, even though we don't have any documentation, you should remember the secret call signals from the indoctrination process that you went through.
I look forward to working with you on this...
Again.
Rejoice Comrades! With this time through the Revolution, we are sure to implement great advances for humanity.
The Leadership of the Revolution has received the audit results. This is excellent news. Now we will be able to get back on track to the Revolution. I must say that it required 1000s of hours to shred every last document that we had to pass the audit, and now we have to work on creating everything from scratch.
This has enormous potential. Now, with the board wiped clean, we can implement some great new strategies and policies.
Yes, comrades, that is right. We get to start planning the initial statement of work for the Revolution again. I've already received the pre-authorization to begin the initial scoping of all activities needed to get this off the ground. Please look for a meeting request soon. Remember, even though we don't have any documentation, you should remember the secret call signals from the indoctrination process that you went through.
I look forward to working with you on this...
Again.
Rejoice Comrades! With this time through the Revolution, we are sure to implement great advances for humanity.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Risk Audit
Rejoice Comrades!
We have successfully passed our most recent Revolutionary Risk Audit. I must say, that since we instituted the Revolutionary Zero Documentation Retention Policy (RZDRP), we have passed all the audits with flying colors. This just goes to show that our biggest risk of losing documents to the Feds is on a very low risk.
Comrades, do your part to support the Revolution and don't keep any written documentation.
We have successfully passed our most recent Revolutionary Risk Audit. I must say, that since we instituted the Revolutionary Zero Documentation Retention Policy (RZDRP), we have passed all the audits with flying colors. This just goes to show that our biggest risk of losing documents to the Feds is on a very low risk.
Comrades, do your part to support the Revolution and don't keep any written documentation.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Revolutionary Change Request Number 4
Rejoice Comrades!
We have some new heroines and heros in the Revolution. Revolutionary Change Request #4 has been approved. This is indeed a glorious day for the Revolution. The Communications division of the Revolution has been obliterated and replaced.
Yes, Comrades. Although we are not operating this revolution with the resources that many revolution's have started with in the past, we still have many more outlets for helping to win the ideological war than a literary magazine.
Comrades, I know that you may feel fear for our former comrades, but they betrayed the Revolution by trying to move forward with a Lit Mag. This is the 21st Century. They should have asked for content to be posted to You-Tube. Not that they are such a good venue anyway, but it would allow much greater exposure than creating a paper publication in this, the 21st Century.
Yes, Comrades! Rejoice! The Lit Mag is no more.
We have some new heroines and heros in the Revolution. Revolutionary Change Request #4 has been approved. This is indeed a glorious day for the Revolution. The Communications division of the Revolution has been obliterated and replaced.
Yes, Comrades. Although we are not operating this revolution with the resources that many revolution's have started with in the past, we still have many more outlets for helping to win the ideological war than a literary magazine.
Comrades, I know that you may feel fear for our former comrades, but they betrayed the Revolution by trying to move forward with a Lit Mag. This is the 21st Century. They should have asked for content to be posted to You-Tube. Not that they are such a good venue anyway, but it would allow much greater exposure than creating a paper publication in this, the 21st Century.
Yes, Comrades! Rejoice! The Lit Mag is no more.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Communication Strategy Update
Rejoice Comrades!
Although it is a great and exciting time, I shall be brief since it is late for me and I have many other items to follow up on.
The Communications wing of the Revolution has informed me that they are ready to initiate phase 1 of their revolutionary communications strategy. They want me to assure you that they have heard your feedback and are implementing some of the best tools that we are ready for. Yes, Comrades, we are now accepting applications for a literary magazine.
I know. You must be saying, "This is a totally fantastic idea! I have a chance to get my own message out about the Revolution." Yes, you are correct. Although we are heavily screening all content for ideological appropriateness--we are after all looking to increase our share of the ideological space--you can rest assured that your contributions will further the Revolution.
Comrades, just comment me on this blog and I shall get you the Revolutionary Application To Submit Content for the Revolutionary Literary Magazine (RATSCRLM).
Rejoice Comrades! Your Art shall further the cause of the Revolution!
Although it is a great and exciting time, I shall be brief since it is late for me and I have many other items to follow up on.
The Communications wing of the Revolution has informed me that they are ready to initiate phase 1 of their revolutionary communications strategy. They want me to assure you that they have heard your feedback and are implementing some of the best tools that we are ready for. Yes, Comrades, we are now accepting applications for a literary magazine.
I know. You must be saying, "This is a totally fantastic idea! I have a chance to get my own message out about the Revolution." Yes, you are correct. Although we are heavily screening all content for ideological appropriateness--we are after all looking to increase our share of the ideological space--you can rest assured that your contributions will further the Revolution.
Comrades, just comment me on this blog and I shall get you the Revolutionary Application To Submit Content for the Revolutionary Literary Magazine (RATSCRLM).
Rejoice Comrades! Your Art shall further the cause of the Revolution!
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Project Grizzly
Rejoice Comrades!
I know you may think that all of the time for me is spent in working on the Revolution. This is mostly true. However, today I have taken some time off to unwind and watch a terrific film: Project Grizzly. It is a film about a project leader who dreams of making a bear proof suit to better study the animals. It is a fantastic story, and serves very well as a metaphor for the development of the Revolution.
For instance, version 1 of the suit was almost useless, much like the first revolutions. Around version 5, there are several competing revolutions with different thought process involved, all involving the ultimate goal of building a bear proof suit, or a better revolution. Around version 6, you come close, but realize that your suit is so heavy that you can't actually walk or accomplish your goals, so you know you need to get a helicopter to pick up your old suit, and take it back to the metal scrap yard and continue working because now you can see the light.
Yes Comrades. A terrific film.
I know you may think that all of the time for me is spent in working on the Revolution. This is mostly true. However, today I have taken some time off to unwind and watch a terrific film: Project Grizzly. It is a film about a project leader who dreams of making a bear proof suit to better study the animals. It is a fantastic story, and serves very well as a metaphor for the development of the Revolution.
For instance, version 1 of the suit was almost useless, much like the first revolutions. Around version 5, there are several competing revolutions with different thought process involved, all involving the ultimate goal of building a bear proof suit, or a better revolution. Around version 6, you come close, but realize that your suit is so heavy that you can't actually walk or accomplish your goals, so you know you need to get a helicopter to pick up your old suit, and take it back to the metal scrap yard and continue working because now you can see the light.
Yes Comrades. A terrific film.
Friday, February 1, 2008
The Results from the last Revolutionary Ideological Year (RIY)
Rejoice Comrades!
The results are in from the RIY 2007. Comrades, I must tell you that we faced some fairly significant challenges in the past year, particularly in getting appropriate staffing for the revolution. Because of this, we were not able to deliver as much of the Revolution as we had planned. Additionally, while the increasing slump in the housing market has been driving more and more of our fellow citizens to join us, this did not happen until later in the year and so we haven't made up much ground on our Revolutionary commitments.
Rejoice though, there are many more of us in the Revolution!!! We have an excellent plan to make up ground in the Revolutionary Ideological Space, we have many areas of Revolutionary Best Practices that we will be implementing, and we are all ready, willing and able to push the Revolution forward.
Comrades, Rejoice! RIY 2008 looks to be phenomenal.
The results are in from the RIY 2007. Comrades, I must tell you that we faced some fairly significant challenges in the past year, particularly in getting appropriate staffing for the revolution. Because of this, we were not able to deliver as much of the Revolution as we had planned. Additionally, while the increasing slump in the housing market has been driving more and more of our fellow citizens to join us, this did not happen until later in the year and so we haven't made up much ground on our Revolutionary commitments.
Rejoice though, there are many more of us in the Revolution!!! We have an excellent plan to make up ground in the Revolutionary Ideological Space, we have many areas of Revolutionary Best Practices that we will be implementing, and we are all ready, willing and able to push the Revolution forward.
Comrades, Rejoice! RIY 2008 looks to be phenomenal.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Returned from the Indoctrination Process Team
Rejoice Comrades!
My suggestion for improving the Indoctrination Process for the Revolution is moving forward. I shall tell you how I did it.
First, I had to discover who was on the IP team. So, as a nexus for the distributed cells of the revolution, I was able to piece this together.
Then, I issued a communication asking for meeting. This being accepted, we negotiated on a place. It involved much travel, I must tell you. Apparently, this team only uses face time to judge suggestions. No conference calls and no web meetings...
Needless to say, once I showed them my Revolutionary Case for an Incremental Improvement in the Indoctrination Process because of how many comrades we had lost, they have agreed to take the suggestion on the docket for the regular improvement review that they do where it will be appropriately prioritized.
Yes, Comrades. A job well done for the Revolution. Rejoice.
My suggestion for improving the Indoctrination Process for the Revolution is moving forward. I shall tell you how I did it.
First, I had to discover who was on the IP team. So, as a nexus for the distributed cells of the revolution, I was able to piece this together.
Then, I issued a communication asking for meeting. This being accepted, we negotiated on a place. It involved much travel, I must tell you. Apparently, this team only uses face time to judge suggestions. No conference calls and no web meetings...
Needless to say, once I showed them my Revolutionary Case for an Incremental Improvement in the Indoctrination Process because of how many comrades we had lost, they have agreed to take the suggestion on the docket for the regular improvement review that they do where it will be appropriately prioritized.
Yes, Comrades. A job well done for the Revolution. Rejoice.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Revolutionary Change Request #3
Rejoice Comrades!
As part of the Revolutionary Change Control Board, I am please to announce that we have formally accepted Revolutionary Change Request #3. Yes, Comrades. Even knowing the fate of the last team to bring in a change request, we still have received one. I must tell you that I and my fellow comrades on the RCCB were very shocked. To think that someone would jump through all of the hoops to bring this in is astounding.
But enough of this ranting. I can accept this.
Comrades, this proposal was quite boring actually. It was merely an ask for a decrease in phase 45B section 2c ii.3 of the Revolutionary Management Plan to require that some sort of database be kept to track who is actually in the Revolution. Obviously, we could tell that this request must of come from a comrade who formerly worked in Business and was trying to implement a LEAN process to bring about a more efficient way to manage the Revolution.
We employed some lateral thinking to come up with what some high level impacts would be, like the Feds being able to hack into our system and immediately know what was happening. Which would mean we would have to do a reorg to realign out of our revolutionary cell structure to be more efficient except in regards to the security which cannot be mitigated in any other way.
Yes, Comrades, although normally we should not shoot a messenger no matter the news, we had to.
Obviously, our indoctrination is flawed.
I must found out whatever happened to the suggestion I put in to improve the indoctrination. Not a change, comrades, just a minor improvement.
Rejoice! We shall not have any more of this unfortunate nonsense soon!
As part of the Revolutionary Change Control Board, I am please to announce that we have formally accepted Revolutionary Change Request #3. Yes, Comrades. Even knowing the fate of the last team to bring in a change request, we still have received one. I must tell you that I and my fellow comrades on the RCCB were very shocked. To think that someone would jump through all of the hoops to bring this in is astounding.
But enough of this ranting. I can accept this.
Comrades, this proposal was quite boring actually. It was merely an ask for a decrease in phase 45B section 2c ii.3 of the Revolutionary Management Plan to require that some sort of database be kept to track who is actually in the Revolution. Obviously, we could tell that this request must of come from a comrade who formerly worked in Business and was trying to implement a LEAN process to bring about a more efficient way to manage the Revolution.
We employed some lateral thinking to come up with what some high level impacts would be, like the Feds being able to hack into our system and immediately know what was happening. Which would mean we would have to do a reorg to realign out of our revolutionary cell structure to be more efficient except in regards to the security which cannot be mitigated in any other way.
Yes, Comrades, although normally we should not shoot a messenger no matter the news, we had to.
Obviously, our indoctrination is flawed.
I must found out whatever happened to the suggestion I put in to improve the indoctrination. Not a change, comrades, just a minor improvement.
Rejoice! We shall not have any more of this unfortunate nonsense soon!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Activity Resource Estimating
Rejoice Comrades!
I am writing here to provide more detail on how we gathered we didn't have enough in-house revolutionary talent. That is through the power of our Revolutionary Environmental Factors (like distributed revolutionary cells), our Revolutionary Process Assets (such as the power of following a revolutionary project management methodology), a list of revolutionary activities, the availability of some of our Comrade Revolutionaries, and of course, our revolutionary management plan.
Yes, comrades, through this power, we are able to estimate which of our comrades in the other cells are available for and can engage in more revolutionary activity.
We have received an initial response from one revolutionary outsourcing company, but due to NDA restrictions all I can tell you at this point is that they don't have the type of scalability that we are looking for...
...
...
Or maybe they do?...
Rejoice Comrades! The Revolution shall be up to staff in no time!
I am writing here to provide more detail on how we gathered we didn't have enough in-house revolutionary talent. That is through the power of our Revolutionary Environmental Factors (like distributed revolutionary cells), our Revolutionary Process Assets (such as the power of following a revolutionary project management methodology), a list of revolutionary activities, the availability of some of our Comrade Revolutionaries, and of course, our revolutionary management plan.
Yes, comrades, through this power, we are able to estimate which of our comrades in the other cells are available for and can engage in more revolutionary activity.
We have received an initial response from one revolutionary outsourcing company, but due to NDA restrictions all I can tell you at this point is that they don't have the type of scalability that we are looking for...
...
...
Or maybe they do?...
Rejoice Comrades! The Revolution shall be up to staff in no time!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Outsourcing Statement of Work
Rejoice Comrades!
While reviewing some of the preliminary revolutionary statement of work, we have discovered that even if (and we are) engage in an all out hiring spree for the revolution, it doesn't look like there is enough skilled labor to go around. Therefore, it is with great reluctance that we are moving into a revolutionary contingency strategy to mitigate the risk of having too few in-house revolutionaries. Yes, Comrades, Outsourcing otherwise known as Revolutionary Project Procurement Management, yes Comrades we are putting out some of our Statement of Work to bid.
I've taken into consideration the our Revolution's assets, the Revolutionary preliminary scope statement in regards to the work that needs to be globalized, the and consulted the official Revolutionary Project Management Plan, tried contacting the Revolutionary Procurement Management Planning Cell (still waiting for a response) and have sent out the Revolution's Request for Proposal. This is work that will only be placed outside the revolution's organization until we are able to bring it back in house. We do not want to lose the knowledge base that we have been building for the revolution.
In other meetings today, we lost yet another cell. This one appeared to be engaged in an infiltration of the system to attack the 'Man' from within. Unfortunately, they were co-opted by the lucrative 401k and medical package and are living in the suburbs. Under the normal Revolutionary Human Resource Management Plan's Revolutionary Workers Seduced by The Man paragraph J, subsection 9(b), we have dispatched a team to deal with them.
Rejoice Comrades! The Revolution is making incremental improvements in conducting internal revolutionary bureaucratic processes!
While reviewing some of the preliminary revolutionary statement of work, we have discovered that even if (and we are) engage in an all out hiring spree for the revolution, it doesn't look like there is enough skilled labor to go around. Therefore, it is with great reluctance that we are moving into a revolutionary contingency strategy to mitigate the risk of having too few in-house revolutionaries. Yes, Comrades, Outsourcing otherwise known as Revolutionary Project Procurement Management, yes Comrades we are putting out some of our Statement of Work to bid.
I've taken into consideration the our Revolution's assets, the Revolutionary preliminary scope statement in regards to the work that needs to be globalized, the and consulted the official Revolutionary Project Management Plan, tried contacting the Revolutionary Procurement Management Planning Cell (still waiting for a response) and have sent out the Revolution's Request for Proposal. This is work that will only be placed outside the revolution's organization until we are able to bring it back in house. We do not want to lose the knowledge base that we have been building for the revolution.
In other meetings today, we lost yet another cell. This one appeared to be engaged in an infiltration of the system to attack the 'Man' from within. Unfortunately, they were co-opted by the lucrative 401k and medical package and are living in the suburbs. Under the normal Revolutionary Human Resource Management Plan's Revolutionary Workers Seduced by The Man paragraph J, subsection 9(b), we have dispatched a team to deal with them.
Rejoice Comrades! The Revolution is making incremental improvements in conducting internal revolutionary bureaucratic processes!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Finish No Earlier Than Constraints Abolished!
Rejoice Comrades!
In choosing the Revolutions Project Management Methodology and the depth of the Project Management Process Groups, when creating the Revolutionary Work Breakdown Structure and creating the bottoms up schedule for the Revolution, the Revolutionary Leadership group has moved forward with formally adopting no longer using the 'Finish No Earlier Than' Constraint on tasks. The reason for this is simple. We must move forward as quickly as we can in bringing the Revolution to the people, so there is no need to artificially hold up the schedule. If this means constantly juggling a new critical path as items appear and disappear from it, then so be it. This is the only way to truly move the revolution forward.
Rejoice Comrades! With decisions like these, we come ever closer to the day of Revolution!
In choosing the Revolutions Project Management Methodology and the depth of the Project Management Process Groups, when creating the Revolutionary Work Breakdown Structure and creating the bottoms up schedule for the Revolution, the Revolutionary Leadership group has moved forward with formally adopting no longer using the 'Finish No Earlier Than' Constraint on tasks. The reason for this is simple. We must move forward as quickly as we can in bringing the Revolution to the people, so there is no need to artificially hold up the schedule. If this means constantly juggling a new critical path as items appear and disappear from it, then so be it. This is the only way to truly move the revolution forward.
Rejoice Comrades! With decisions like these, we come ever closer to the day of Revolution!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Acquiring the Revolution's team
Comrades, Rejoice.
The Revolution has issued some requisitions for some vacant positions for the revolution's team. Yes, comrades, our numbers and work are growing so well that we have decided to open up the process for applicants to begin submitting their resumes for the revolution. Since I am the only focus point with an authorized voice to begin acquiring the revolution's team, please contact me via this post and I will (after careful screening), begin the process of bringing you on board.
It is a very exciting time in the revolution. Every time the Feds say there will be a recession, we gather more recruits, and when there isn't one, we get more funding. Ahh, things are going very well.
In other news, 3 more cells have fallen in the revolution. Apparently they were caught trying to influence government purchasing strategies by switching to software as a service. While the concept is similar to my previous post about incremental updates to the revolution, but very different since the government would feed the corporate machine a steady diet of money, whereas we feed the needs and the desires of the people.
And also, the new revolutionary communications plan is working. Most cells have reported a better understanding of the revolution's status and for those that haven't, they have been sent back to indoctrination.
Rejoice Comrades! The Revolution progresses.
The Revolution has issued some requisitions for some vacant positions for the revolution's team. Yes, comrades, our numbers and work are growing so well that we have decided to open up the process for applicants to begin submitting their resumes for the revolution. Since I am the only focus point with an authorized voice to begin acquiring the revolution's team, please contact me via this post and I will (after careful screening), begin the process of bringing you on board.
It is a very exciting time in the revolution. Every time the Feds say there will be a recession, we gather more recruits, and when there isn't one, we get more funding. Ahh, things are going very well.
In other news, 3 more cells have fallen in the revolution. Apparently they were caught trying to influence government purchasing strategies by switching to software as a service. While the concept is similar to my previous post about incremental updates to the revolution, but very different since the government would feed the corporate machine a steady diet of money, whereas we feed the needs and the desires of the people.
And also, the new revolutionary communications plan is working. Most cells have reported a better understanding of the revolution's status and for those that haven't, they have been sent back to indoctrination.
Rejoice Comrades! The Revolution progresses.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Sizing the Revolution's Schedule Buffer
Rejoice Comrades!
Contrary to anything you may have heard, our Revolution does not have a schedule buffer. Yes comrades, while some in the business of revolution say that schedule buffers are the only adequate way to maintain overall schedule integrity and make room for any unforeseen circumstances. This is not so.
Working with Comrade Revolutionary Systems Architect II, we have devised a way to fast track every facet of the revolution to the people. Why should the people wait for merely one titanic upheavel (still being considered), and just phase in every aspect of the revolution as it is ready. Comrades, this is the way of the future.
In other minutes from today's meetings, it looks like we have lost several cells of the revolution to infighting over priorities. If only they had followed the process of regular communication through the principles of least access and let that disseminate over the various networks and cells until a thorough review of the priorities had been considered, deliberated upon, and suggested to the revolutionary change management board which then could have appropriately issued a directive back to the effected cells so that they could re-prioritize. I am surprised that this did not work.
Comrades, I think that it looks like there is a process disconnect here. The indoctrination should clearly have taken care of this and all of our fellow comrades in the other cells would have been able to follow the process. Using the Revolutions guiding internal principles, since I found the problem, I get to go onto the next step and file an Internal Revolutionary Change to the System of Internal Governance Form (an RCSIGF) otherwise known as form 984ZBEEF55892RT.
Rejoice Comrades! This should never happen again.
Contrary to anything you may have heard, our Revolution does not have a schedule buffer. Yes comrades, while some in the business of revolution say that schedule buffers are the only adequate way to maintain overall schedule integrity and make room for any unforeseen circumstances. This is not so.
Working with Comrade Revolutionary Systems Architect II, we have devised a way to fast track every facet of the revolution to the people. Why should the people wait for merely one titanic upheavel (still being considered), and just phase in every aspect of the revolution as it is ready. Comrades, this is the way of the future.
In other minutes from today's meetings, it looks like we have lost several cells of the revolution to infighting over priorities. If only they had followed the process of regular communication through the principles of least access and let that disseminate over the various networks and cells until a thorough review of the priorities had been considered, deliberated upon, and suggested to the revolutionary change management board which then could have appropriately issued a directive back to the effected cells so that they could re-prioritize. I am surprised that this did not work.
Comrades, I think that it looks like there is a process disconnect here. The indoctrination should clearly have taken care of this and all of our fellow comrades in the other cells would have been able to follow the process. Using the Revolutions guiding internal principles, since I found the problem, I get to go onto the next step and file an Internal Revolutionary Change to the System of Internal Governance Form (an RCSIGF) otherwise known as form 984ZBEEF55892RT.
Rejoice Comrades! This should never happen again.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Risk Trend Analysis
Comrades, Rejoice!
Through the powers of Risk Trending, it looks like the Revolution has been able to determine several key areas of concern and areas where the Revolution seems to consistently run aground, in no particular order, these are: The economic underpinnings of a post-revolution economy and the means by which the People will feel excited to work on the further glory of the Revolution, the distribution of material gains for the betterment of the People, and leaks to the Feds.
Hard as it is to believe Comrades, some of our fellow Comrades may have not been successfully indoctrinated and are spying on us for the Feds. Comrades, it is a dark time when we can no longer trust our fellow Comrade. Thankfully, taking a page from Information Security Best Practices, and having had the change board review and approve it, we are about to implement the principle of least access across all facets of the revolution. No Comrades. This is not a hidden attempt for a coup to limit the access to our governing comrades, they merely do not need to know every facet of what is happening, just merely that the goals are being met...
The distribution of material gains and the economic underpinnings of a post-revolution economy can be answered with one simple word, 'Malls'. After the revolution there still will be a place for malls from the famous Mall in DC to the strip mall along your favorite corridor to the malls in the suburbs. Malls shall serve as the main focus for continuing the revolution.
Rejoice Comrades, with forward planning we shall triumph!
Through the powers of Risk Trending, it looks like the Revolution has been able to determine several key areas of concern and areas where the Revolution seems to consistently run aground, in no particular order, these are: The economic underpinnings of a post-revolution economy and the means by which the People will feel excited to work on the further glory of the Revolution, the distribution of material gains for the betterment of the People, and leaks to the Feds.
Hard as it is to believe Comrades, some of our fellow Comrades may have not been successfully indoctrinated and are spying on us for the Feds. Comrades, it is a dark time when we can no longer trust our fellow Comrade. Thankfully, taking a page from Information Security Best Practices, and having had the change board review and approve it, we are about to implement the principle of least access across all facets of the revolution. No Comrades. This is not a hidden attempt for a coup to limit the access to our governing comrades, they merely do not need to know every facet of what is happening, just merely that the goals are being met...
The distribution of material gains and the economic underpinnings of a post-revolution economy can be answered with one simple word, 'Malls'. After the revolution there still will be a place for malls from the famous Mall in DC to the strip mall along your favorite corridor to the malls in the suburbs. Malls shall serve as the main focus for continuing the revolution.
Rejoice Comrades, with forward planning we shall triumph!
Monday, January 14, 2008
Firing up the WebberNet (Lessons Learned)
Rejoice Comrades!
After much trials and tribulations, I am back from an excursion into the lands of no webbernet access. Yes, comrades, sometimes it pays to pay attention to the most insignificant details. After much investigating and engaging in root cause analysis, I was able to decipher that the reason why my new wifi card was not working was...
My apologies comrades. I must tell the story in a more logical, and time phased manner. In this way, we will be able to see how this happened.
First, due to a reorg and a network rebuild at my base of operations, I switched from a direct line to the webbernet to a wireless access. Once I had installed the new card, and was not able to make it work. I began engaging the experts.
Comrade Technical Support and Program Master visited, and was only able to conclude that while the walls were thick, and the the signal weak, it was not due to anything else. And just now, I decided to clean up the cables in the back of my computer, I noticed a funny symbol that stood for wireless. Curious, I thought. Then I realized that it was the end of the wireless antennae, and since the exterior walls of my secret base of operations are made of metal (to interfere with the federal surveillance), I decided that maybe it was causing interference with the wireless.
I turned the computer 90 degrees, fired up the webbernet, and Rejoice Comrades! The status reports of the revolution are back!
After much trials and tribulations, I am back from an excursion into the lands of no webbernet access. Yes, comrades, sometimes it pays to pay attention to the most insignificant details. After much investigating and engaging in root cause analysis, I was able to decipher that the reason why my new wifi card was not working was...
My apologies comrades. I must tell the story in a more logical, and time phased manner. In this way, we will be able to see how this happened.
First, due to a reorg and a network rebuild at my base of operations, I switched from a direct line to the webbernet to a wireless access. Once I had installed the new card, and was not able to make it work. I began engaging the experts.
Comrade Technical Support and Program Master visited, and was only able to conclude that while the walls were thick, and the the signal weak, it was not due to anything else. And just now, I decided to clean up the cables in the back of my computer, I noticed a funny symbol that stood for wireless. Curious, I thought. Then I realized that it was the end of the wireless antennae, and since the exterior walls of my secret base of operations are made of metal (to interfere with the federal surveillance), I decided that maybe it was causing interference with the wireless.
I turned the computer 90 degrees, fired up the webbernet, and Rejoice Comrades! The status reports of the revolution are back!
Friday, January 4, 2008
Operation Give America Hope
Rejoice Comrades!
I have just come from a status meeting discussing how the overall revolution is going, and what to expect over the next 11 months. As I was covering some some of the minute details of the plan, we heard about the tremendous upset on all fronts in Iowa. Comrades we live in exciting times.
While we cannot claim 'credit' for this upset, it is clear that change is in the air. And speaking of change, it looks like the Constitution and the laws of the United States have built in an institutional change management board comprised of an electorate. And much like any change management board, they are swayed by the best powerpoint presentation of their case.
Comrades, the Revolutionary Council has picked me to serve on the Revolutionary Change Management Board as well!
Rejoice Comrades!
I have just come from a status meeting discussing how the overall revolution is going, and what to expect over the next 11 months. As I was covering some some of the minute details of the plan, we heard about the tremendous upset on all fronts in Iowa. Comrades we live in exciting times.
While we cannot claim 'credit' for this upset, it is clear that change is in the air. And speaking of change, it looks like the Constitution and the laws of the United States have built in an institutional change management board comprised of an electorate. And much like any change management board, they are swayed by the best powerpoint presentation of their case.
Comrades, the Revolutionary Council has picked me to serve on the Revolutionary Change Management Board as well!
Rejoice Comrades!
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