Revolutionary Project Management Processes - Planning (1)

Rejoice Comrades!

Work is already afoot!  Yes, the Revolution does not waste time.  Once something is meant to be done, then it will be done.  Also, I just learned that the previous Comrade in charge of this initiative was sacked, as in but into a sack and dropped off a towering monument to the Revolution. 

Work will now proceed!

Yes, Comrades, Thinking about how to plan for each piece of this new onboarding process could be difficult, but since I will broadly think about how to decompose, no pun intended, the work into packages, again, no pun intended, and how the work could come together.  Each piece for the project will have many detailed requirements.  How many people must be onboarded, what is the exact vetting process, how could it be improved to meet new requirements, what is the new re-education plan, and in what state will the new Revolutionary members be in when they head off into the labor camps of the Revolution. 

All of this work will of course be done within the confines of the Revolution, except for what we can get for free from Google.  They are a great source of free document software....

My planning team, well, I cannot say who they are, for fear of discovery, but like all many such things, they exist, and we meet at the coffee shop at Wednesdays at noon by the fireplace, and if you don't have a biscuit for us, you aren't in.

There are many things to do, the list is really long, from determining what to do, in what order, what goes to what, what will we do for coffee, can we meet again on Friday at 3, if that isn't good, what about next Tuesday at 8AM, I'm just saying, at some point we have got to make some progress, I don't care what you say, It is not my fault the team assignments were handled through the Revolutionary Project Council and they didn't take into account your experience.  No, I'm not going to let you leave; the last guy who left was shot when he tried to resign.  Yes, of course I understand your position, but no, NO, NO! you can't be reassigned.  I don't get a choice; it is this or the fields.
No, I mean that not as a place to work into retirement, but instead as a place of internment.  Fine!  I hope you realize this is monitored and there is nothing I can do about it.

...

Yes, Comrades, deciding roles and responsibilities of work, is generally handled by the Revolutionary Council, but in this case, well, experience speaks for itself.  So many steps, and so little time.

Revolutionary Project Management Processes - Initiating

Rejoice Comrades!

This training class, led by Comrade Instructor Christine and Fellow Comrade Instructor Sun-san is quite fascinating.  Yes, yes, we are very cognizant of multicultural differences in the Revolution as long as they don't conflict with the stated aims of the Revolution. Someday, I, myself, would love to view the governing documents of the Revolution, but until that day, I shall listen to the instructions from our Comrade Instructors and proceed with learning the processes of managing a Revolution.

Yes, Comrades, I hear you.  Is not Project Managing a Revolution really just the simple steps of decomposing the project management processes?  Does not 'IPECC' describe it all.  Can not a detailed diagram underneath that framework guide all activity?

Well, both Comrade Instructor Christine and Fellow Comrade Instructor Sun-san have indicated that this is so, and as a dutiful member of the Revolution, I will learn all there is to know in this field.

Now Comrades, this is where the learning could become interesting.  If you would be so kind as to recall, all of us in training have been appointed to projects.  Mine is quite fascinating, it involves not the mindless and repetitive work of figuring out who is yet again suborning the Revolution, which is part of the standard operational practice, but in fact, it is to manage a complex directive in implementing a new way of onboarding new members, vetting them, re-educating them, and then turning them over to the factories of the Revolution for consumption...

Yes, Comrades, that is the Charter of this Revolutionary project.  I have looked deep into the history of how these have been done up to now within the Revolution and without, and after careful review, will be putting each piece of this Revolutionary Project into a few different packages to help clarify the work to be done.  There are many existing arrangements that I will need to work through and many goals to be defined, but with the help of all the Revolutionary stakeholders, those alive, and those whose memory we will always honor, we will succeed.

Rejoice Comrades!  The work of the Revolution is being defined!

The Current Organization of the Revolution

Rejoice Comrades!

Yet again, through another organization realignment, the Revolution has moved to a new organization for oversight of the Revolutionary Projects.

Yes, Comrades, after initiating an OPM3 (Organizational Project Management Maturity Model) review our Illustrious Chief has approved moving the entire Revolution away from isolated cell structures with little communication to a more complicated model involving an overall formal, black-tie and all, Portfolio Management team, who will provide a glorious level of oversight to all Revolutionary Projects and Programs.  Some day, with luck, diligence, and the blessing of my fellow Comrades, I too could join that team to help best select projects and priorities that fulfill our Revolutions goals.  Yes, Comrade, it is quite an honor to see, that after a failing grade in the OPM3, that our Illustrious Chief send the prior team out into the fields to think and ponder as to what could have been done differently if they hadn't been so focused on achieving their own aims as opposed to aligning with the Revolutionary Ideals that were laid out so long ago.  Yes Comrades, while the heat of the sun, the bite of the mosquito, and the whipping rain pour down upon them, they will Rejoice in knowing that our Illustrious Chief has selected Comrade Roger as the head of the local Project Management Office. 

I have asked around, and Comrade Project Management Office Director Roger is generally acknowledged by all to be supportive, by providing guidance and training and general processes to aid all Revolutionary Project Managers.  Comrade Project Management Office Director Roger, is controlling, as a strong Revolutionary Directory must be and provides training, and ensures compliance on all projects.  Additionally, Comrade Project Management Office Director Roger is first and foremost, a Director who is ultimately responsible for all projects, project managers, and controls every aspect of where we eat and sleep.  Yes, Comrade Project Management Office Director Roger is very kind to let us all know what we must do and when.  It is he who put my name in with our Illustrious Chief and brought me in from the Gulag and assigned me to this latest training.  Yes, we will all be responsible for very large projects of over $10Million!  

PMP Basics of Qualification

Rejoice Comrades!

As I have begun to delve into the fascinating history of the PMP, I have stumbled upon a few key questions that I have been driven to ask myself.  Given the many projects I have worked on for the Revolution, I wonder if I have enough experience to qualify for the qualification.

Comrades, let us seriously consider this question.  First, let us think upon education.  Upon multiple occasions, I have been ReEducated by various departments, subsectors, subsections, local directorates, and upon occasion, via a humorous comic strip via Dilbert.  And as for actual experience, given the surprising nature and depth of the projects I have personal had the illustrious chance to be associated with, I would qualify.

Now to answer the question as to the nature of the quality of the qualifications and the relevance of those qualifications to the 200 multiple choice questions asked of a future PMP.  The obvious answer is that several branches of Education are geared toward people learning from other people, language, art, mathematics, sociology, and of course, the Illustrious History of the Glorious Revolution.  While the PMI discounts the ability of an individual to be able to learn the best practices of Project Management Governance, we must keep in mind, that, the reason they so zealously guard the sacred credential, point an individual to 'approved' training, is that they would not want you, Comrade, to realize that you have the potential to ace the test with prior proper planning to prevent piss poor performance (the 7 P's, not covered in the credentialing process).  Yes, Comrade, with sufficient case studies, you too will pass the exam.

Rejoice Comrades!  We will Succeed in our Glorious Endeavors!

PMP certification

Comrades, I have returned.

After some debacles too numerous to go into here, and after a relatively short stay in the gulag, again, the Revolutionary Council has sent me to mandatory PMI Certification classes. The Illustrious Chief, whose brilliance will never dim, decided that with all the seasoning on the various projects for the Revolution that I was now ready for more formal training and with a successful passing grade, I will be allowed to keep breathing and continue to serve the Revolution. Comrades, Rejoice! With the certification no more mishaps will occur and this time, we will succeed!!