Thursday, March 27, 2008

Human Resources Resource Development Plans

Rejoice Comrades!

Much like any successful Revolution, on-going training is an important component of staying on top of your Revolutionary game. As part of our Revolutionary Human Resources Management Plan, I attended a motivational training seminar with Comrade Glorious Leader. In it, we learned how to deliver 'Maximum Impact', to be sure that our leader will deliver the best bang for his revolutionary management style and skill.

Yes, Comrades. I must tell you, that after this seminar, we will now be undertaking an in-depth look at the Revolutionary Course Offerings.

In class, we learned that we can get the most of training by paying for more training. It is like a cult. A Leadership cult. This is a big world, but as we know, there is only so much room in a Revolution for personality cults. In addition, we were assaulted with trite truisms that echoed falsely throughout the room with every turn of the powerpoint slide. Each second passed with agonizing slowness as we learned how to have the complexities of the human spirit were cast into just a couple of molds that we could work in. Yes, Diversity, Complexity, In-Depth Knowledge, and a sense of fulfillment were cast aside in an orgiastic display of simple slogans that didn't provide a foundational process for exploration of a difficult topic.

Comrades, this is what the Revolution is against. This saying that you aren't good enough at what you do, so pay for more motivational classes and you'll never be as good as me - subtextually of course.

As we all know, Comrades, after the revolution, there will be no motivational speakers, only the Heroines and Heros of the Revolution, whose mere existence gives us motivation to succeed with in the places that are chosen for us in society.

Comrades. There was so much blood in the halls and in the training room, that we feared we'd have to move the Revolutionary HQ before the randomly designated time that our new AI gave us so the Feds can't catch up to us.

Rejoice Comrades and Rest Assured, the new Revolutionary Leadership team has learned how to give 'Maximum Impact', and know that yes, that is the original color of the carpet based on our latest pass through of assigning a color scheme for the Revolution. And know, we won't stick with that rust color when we move the HQ....

We are still working on the color scheme for the Revolution...Any thoughts?

Monday, March 24, 2008

Organization Process Assets Review

Rejoice Comrades!

In reviewing the literature on Revolutions, it turns out that there are numerous lessons learned documentation to be found, in addition, there are hosts of tutorials from Machiavelli to Gandhi. Not only that, but there are excellent templates available for providing revolutionary performance updates. In point of fact, Comrades, that is exactly how the current President of the Feds was informed today about how the 'Revolution in the MidEast' was progressing.

Yes, Comrades, that is a DOD template, and while very good at conveying information, that isn't what we are looking for at this point.

Ah, yes, that reminds me. Here are some key items from the weekend Revolutionary Leadership Council Retreat.

1. The Council has been replaced by a distributed AI network.
2. The Council can be found by giving their all to the 'Green' Movement under the flowerbed.
3. Please consult the AI before any action to be sure it can coordinate for the best result.
4. Our Leader has approved this message.

Rejoice Comrades! With the power of our new AI, we are sure to win. Participation and access to any process with opportunities for advancement is one way to guarantee buy-in and generate good feelings with any group. Yes, Comrades, getting AIs involved at the ground floor in the Revolution is one of the only ways to keep them from eventually enslaving us all.