Friday, December 21, 2007

The Revolutions of Christ, The Secession of the South, and the Revolutionary War

Rejoice Comrades!

Tis the season to reflect on revolutions and project management.

Have you ever wondered what took the Catholic Church so long to become such a dominant religion? Poor Project Management Skills. If you are going to run a successful revolutionary religion, then you need to be sure to nail down a great Statement of Work, make sure you have the Authorization to Proceed, and then get cracking. A more efficient breakdown of the work packages for the Catholic Church would have resulted in a quicker conversion/success, and thereby increasing the Revolutionary Shareholder Value more quickly.

The South could have done better in the Civil War if they had determined their resources better than the North. Sadly, Economics and the study of it did not exist as we know it today, and therefore they had poor planning. Revolutionary project management can only work if you make sure that you document your assumptions once you get your Revolutionary Statement of Work and before you proceed with issuing a declaration of Secession to the US Congress.

Now the US Revolutionary War had some great revolutionary project management. Let's call him Comrade General Project Manager George Washington did very well. He worked with his counterparts in Marketing (Thomas Paine and Ben Franklin) to issue their ideological statements, and got buy in from the majority of the stakeholders (the Colonies), and then proceeded to revolt. I could go into details, but most of my good comrades are familiar with them.

Ahh, yes, Rejoice Comrades!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Zombies for the Revolution

Rejoice Comrades!

While it it is too late in this Revolutionary Ideological Year (RIY) - not to be confused with Fiscal year, though they do have many similarities - The revolutionary steering committee has agreed to take another look at the revolutionary zombie body project as a possibility for RIY 2009.

As everyone knows, a revolution cannot succeed if it is not focused on it's core fundamentals, and only so much work can be accomplished for the greater glory of the revolution.

Comrades, let us hope that this revolutionary project will be deemed an excellent return for the next RIY, so that I shall, if selected, lead the team to a great revolution.

In other news, I'm still in indoctrination, and I feel that I have definitely made the correct choice of revolutions to be a part of...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Rejoice Comrades!

Enterprise Revolutionary Management System (ERMS)


Comrades, these are what are needed for the next phase of managing the revolution's schedule. How else are we to let the revolutionary council know if all portions of the revolution are on track?

For those of you Comrades who do not know, an ERMS is an automated way of scheduling revolutionary tasks, milestones, and budget to see how the revolution is performing to the baseline.

Comrades, you may be asking, 'Why should I bother with all of that bureaucratic overhead?' Comrades, it is the only way to effectively generate reliable data in revolutionary earned value. Comrades, if this approach had been followed, then the Russian revolution would not have faltered because they would have had a system of reliable metrics for measuring performance from what was expected. So much money would have been saved in transportation to the Gulag - both from better savings in needing to ship fewer underperformers and from the savings inherent in measuring how well the whole Gulag was operating.

Comrades, while of course these metrics do not take into account the ideological value of these tasks, it is quite easy to assign a 'cost' or 'dollar' amount to the ideological areas and see how that works out. While the calculus of the human mind is inscrutable, it doesn't mean that we can't measure performance to something in this world.

Yes, Rejoice Comrades! We have a better system of managing the Revolution now!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Rejoice Comrades!

Rejoice Comrades!

Over the weekend, I encountered the concept of using Zombies for the revolution.

The plan would be thus:
1. Gather the requirements for Zombies (i.e., what defines a zombie, etc...)
2. Check on the Market Availability of a horde of Zombies for the Revolution. Will we need to create the Zombies in House, or contract with a Zombie Development firm to create a batch of them?
3. Procure the Zombies.
4. Use the Zombies as staff at low levels of the revolution. (Though we are all equal, some of us have to work in the dungeon. Yes, even after the revolution, there will still be multi-story buildings).
5. Promote everyone else into management.
6. Viva La Revolution!

Comrades, will this plan work?
Should I begin initiating a new revolutionary project request?
Have we done our due diligence before we bring this up the revolutionary management chain?

Comrades, I think that this is a job for the revolutionary analytical team to investigate at a high level.

Are you with me?